First, Mariah. She just turned seven and is so grown up. She loves school, enjoys reading, and plays well with her sisters. She tends to be a wee bit bossy and (uh-oh) sounds like me sometimes. Hm. Something for me to work on. She is really good at remembering people's names (has been ever since she could talk!) and has perfectionistic tendencies which I cringe at. I know that it is a typical first-born trait, but I know that my perfectionistic nature doesn't help the matter. I am realizing that I need to spend more time playing with the girls...the reason I don't is another whole post.
Allison likes school, too, doesn't say a whole lot there, but soaks it all up. She is a thinker and often says funny things in a very serious way. She'll be serious one second and then the next second, she'll bust out with this big laugh. Here's some of the funny things she has said. It snowed a couple inches last week, then stopped during the day and we were discussing that it might snow again tomorrow. With this very serious face, she said "if it snows tomorrow... (I'm thinking something like, "it will be pretty" or "we can go play outside" or something nice, but instead it was)...."if it snows tomorrow, I can throw snowballs at Mariah". Where did that come from? It was funny. Then tonight, we had the advent candles lit and again very seriously she said "It would be fun if we could roast some marshmallows over the candles some time". A valid idea. And my personal favorite...Mariah learned "O, Come all Ye Faithful" in spanish for school and so we sometimes sing the refrain in spanish. Well, I have been playing the piano lately after the girls are in bed and I will take requests from them as to what songs they want me to play. Allison sometimes requests O come all ye faithful, but then tells me specifically, "Mommy, after you play the first part, can you play the second part in Spanish?" Hm. Not sure how to do that, but I tell her, sure :)
And then there's Rachel. Oh, my that child is, well, funny. I guess she is what you would call strong-willed, but that sounds so cliche. She loves life, is generally very happy and busy, but really likes to have her way. She has an opinion about everything and trots almost everywhere she goes. She can walk a half mile at an almost adult pace and not complain. Let me tell you about why this child is challenging for me. Most of you (whoever you are that read:) know me enough to see that I am not a very strong-willed person, so when you enter this little 2 and a half year old bundle of energy, she is going to either boss me around or I have to learn how to be boss. I'm learning to be boss. Here are three examples of the determined personality that she has....A couple months ago she absolutely hated getting her diapers changed. I would tell her it was time, ask her to get a book or a toy, etc. but it would take 10 minutes before she would lay down. I got sick of it so I finally told her "either you choose where you get your diaper changed or I will choose". Well, the first few times she didn't choose in 30 seconds so I chose. Oh, the screams. She threw a tantrum for 10 minutes before she finally gave in a laid like a rag doll while I changed her. This was repeated about 5 times (each time the tantrum got a big shorter, thankfully) until now I tell her it is time for a diaper change and she goes and finds a place to lay right away. Ah. It was worth every minute of the screaming. I am kind of understanding the whole "breaking the will" versus "breaking the spirit" of the child. Breaking her will is letting her throw that tantrum for 10 minutes and then she decides to submit. Breaking her spirit would probably involved phsyically holding her down to change her diapers. Not something I would particularly enjoy.
Item 2 of why she is strong-willed. Her language. We recently had a speech therapist evaluate her and her language is at about an 18 month level (she is 30 months at the end of Dec.). She is very intelligent and understands everything we say, but is bound and determined to speak on her own terms, it seems. A year ago, we taught her to do the sign for please. We told her she needed to sign please before she could have dessert. Well, the ice cream sat in the freezer for 4 nights before she finally signed please. Then, just last week, Mike got her to say please (she says it "peas") and she said it for him a couple times. When I tried it, though, here is what happened. We were eating and she had dirty hands and wanted a towel to wipe them on. I told her to get one and she said "no, you" (Her first ever phrases were "no mama!", "no, me!", and "no, you".). I told her I would get a towel if she said please. She got this big pouty face, sulked in her chair for a bit, and got quiet. A few seconds later she disappeared, came back with a towel, and a big, satisfied smile on her face and proudly bragged "no, peas. No, peas" (translation: look at me, I got my towel and I didn't have to say please).
And my favorite illustration of her will....dogs. We have a dog, Tigger, who is a tiny terrier mutt and weighs about 10 pounds. She likes to boss him around and often yells "no, goggy". or makes him move off the blanket, couch, etc., out of her way. Because Tigger is so small, it might just seem like she bosses him around because she is bigger, but we found out that she likes to boss big dogs around, too. We've read this book by Cesar Milan (of the show Dog Whisperer) about how dogs can sense people's energy -- like if people are confident of themselves and take charge of life. Well, even these big dogs can sense that she is a marge-in-charge type of person.
These are my sisters full-grown pit bulls, Titan and Hershey (weighing in at 80+ pounds, I believe). They are fairly well-behaved, but are still big dogs. They intimidate me slightly:) Anyway, we were at her house for Thanksgiving and had closed the door to the dining room to keep them out. Well, after dinner, Rachel, who is at about eye level with the dogs, goes in and out of the door and is perfectly fine with the dogs. She shoves them out of the way, tells them where to go, and is not one iota afraid of them. We were all commenting on this and then, we peek out the door and here is Rachel with Hershey (the brown one) by the collar. She is dragging him behind her like he weighs ten pounds and he is following as meekly as a puppy. Thinking of that just cracks me up! She weighs maybe 30 pounds, but apparently has enough will in her to make up for what she lacks in strength. It's no wonder she pushes my boundaries! Of any of the kids, she would be the one that puts me in the loony bin and I am beginning to understand that it isn't just me that she wants to boss around. Whenever I weary of her, I just remember, this is the child that can boss around pit bulls, and I try not to take her tantrums and strong opinions too seriously. I've known for a while that I need to learn discipline and consistency and some stick-to-it-ness in my own life, and it seems as though God saw fit to give me just the child to teach me those things.
