an interesting chat with Mariah

Yesterday afternoon Mariah and I had an interesting chat. At 4:30 on Friday morning she had woken up with a bad dream about robbers. She didn't say anything else about it until after school, but then her tummy started hurting and she said that it was because she was thinking about the dream. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but it covered many topics. I told her that I had bad dreams about robbers when I was little, that God is with you even when scary or bad things happen (I just recently read The Shack by William P. Young and it is a very good perspective on bad things happening). She then asked about angels and if God would send them if something bad happened and I could only say maybe -- sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I told her this story that I had read about missionaries out in the jungle who were not well-accepted by the tribe in the area and one night they heard people surround their house to come kill them. But, those people dispersed and later the missionaries found out from the tribe that there had been 24 men around the house so they couldn't attack. Even later, they found out that 24 people from their church had been praying for them that night and the tribe eventually accepted the gospel. But, I also told her about the missionary Jim Elliot and others who were killed, but that good came out of that because the wives and kids ministered to the tribe and the tribe later came to know Jesus. I would absolutely love to be able to tell her that no robbers would ever break into our apartment or that nothing bad will ever happen, oh how I want to be able to tell her that, but I don't know that for sure and so I can't reassure her in that way. She knows now that she doesn't have to be afraid of dreams because they can't hurt her. She wouldn't tell me everything that happened in the dream, but she asked "so if they throw rocks in my dream, those can't hurt me?" Then after all of that discussion, we talked about how the only thing we need to fear is God because he decides where your spirit goes when you die (try explaning spirit to a 5 year-old!!) -- (reading various books by Neil T Anderson of Freedom In Christ Ministries has really helped me deal with my own fears and understand why we only need to fear God). And then we talked about that when people who love Jesus die, their spirit goes to be with Jesus and that when Jesus comes again, everybody who loves him will be alive again and live on the earth and the earth will be perfect and that we'll live here forever. That all kind of blew her away, I think. She asked "what does Jesus do with everybody's spirits in heaven!?!?" (that was the really astounding one) and "will Adam and Eve be there when we live again?" and "forever is a long time....like 50 years!.....I can't imagine!!...". We agreed that it will be pretty cool when we are resurrected and live in a perfect world, though. I know that my theology isn't perfect, but I hope that it is close enough. I don't know if that all will stick with her, but it was nice to have a chat like that with her!

We went to an apple orchard/farm today and saw some animals and got lots of tasty produce! It was really weird to be out in the suburbs by all of these HUGE houses, open space, and lots of chain stores! But, it was also nice to see TONS of trees and some wetlands and farm animals, too.

Another book that I've been reading lately is The New Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman. The huge thing that I have learned so far is my tendencies toward perfectionism which I have known about, but haven't quite gotten past. I've learned a lot about not being perfect in my school work (that I can just do my best because I can't even come close to perfection when I have three kids at home!) but I have long been frustrated at keeping the house clean and picked up. I discovered in reading the book that I am a discouraged perfectionist -- that I know I can't do things perfectly on a regular basis so often I just don't even try. Case and point is cleaning the bathroom. Yes, I cleaned the bathroom every week growing up (external motivation from mom:), but never that often since being married. I always thought that the right way was to get the sink wet, scrub with cleaning powder/baking soda, then rinse with a wet sponge and dry. That's how we always did it growing up. Even after a summer of housekeeping at a resort and using the spray and wipe method there, I thought scrubbing was superior (silly me:). (Once when I was about 12 I even told on my older sister when she used the spray and wipe method because you weren't supposed to do it that way:) So, I actually cleaned the bathroom two weeks in a row using an environmentally friendly cleaning spray then wiping clean with a rag and you know what?? It looks just fine! I finally realized that a bathroom sprayed clean once a week is a whole lot better than a perfectly scrubbed bathroom once a month. Duh! you might say, but sometimes I'm a little slow. So now I just need to be less perfectionistic about finding homes for all of the stuff in boxes.....

Well, my entries always turn out like a chapter in a novel.....what can I say??? I like to think and I analyze my life a lot and I don't have grownups to talk to most of the day and I figure that I might as well share my imperfections so that maybe somebody else can learn from them. I'll try to keep a balance between updates of the kids and ponderings on my own life. The beauty of a blog, though, is that you can choose whether or not you want to read it all! :)